Sarah's Journal
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January 21, 2009
Losing Weight
I have really been gaining weight in the past two years, but it never really hit me until I looked at pictures of me from then and now. The picture on the left is me today(not so hot) and the picture on the right is me 2.5 years ago. These pictures have now become my motivation to commit to myself to be healthier and more active. I know I can't go crazy with the exercise or I'll pay for it, but I have to do something. I of course will be looking at my diet and making changes there first. i can't wait to get back to recognizing that person in the mirror or at least somewhat closer to it. If anyone has any advice for exercises that have been workingfor them please let me know. I definately need all the help I can get.
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December 23, 2008
Blessings
When I was first diagnosed with Fibromyalgia I had already endured so much pain physically and emotionally; the diagnosis at first was a new right for me to complain about everything because something really was wrong. I was in highschool at the time and having a constant pitty party got old really quick to more than one of my friends. I continued in the lifestyle until my cousin, Brad, was in an awful car accident. He was flown to a larger hospital in Loisville, KY where he stayed in the ICU for over six months. Brad was and still is paralyzed from his chest down. All he could move were his arms, hands, his fingers(barely), neck, head and face. Brad was 19 years old. My pity party seemed overwhelmingly ridiculous after all of this took place. It was this day that I looked at my fibromyalgia as a blessing and not a punishment. I may be in pain, I may forget, I may be constantly fatigued, I may be down for a few days, I may hate the looks and comments I get, I may be on medication for the rest of my life, and the list just seems to never end BUT I can walk. I am alive and there are much more illnesses out there that are far worse. I am so happy that fibromyalgia is not going to take my life, put me in a hospital, or end up causing me destruction to my body's tissues or vital organs. It is this that I am blessed with.
Sunday a friend of mine that I go to church with died after a near life long battle with diabetes and gastroparesis. Ultimately she weighed less than eighty pounds and had a complication with a feeding treatment causing infection and kidney failure. The pain and suffering she went through is something I can't even imagine enduring and made my fibro seem like the common cold. When people around you are hurting and battleing life-threatening and terminal illness it just puts things in perspective for me. I am not going to die from my fibromyalgia; it is just something I have to deal with and I choose to deal with it with a smile on my face. Everyone needs to vent on occasion when things just get crazy and stressful in their life, but just because I am in chronic pain does not mean I have to be a chronic complainer.
I would just encourage everyone to count their blessings as we come to the end of 2008. We are still here and through all of the changes (good and bad), new addtions to our familys as well as losses. Take a look at the good and try not to focus on the disappointments, sad, can't do, bad, and discouraging.
To everyone I wish a wonderful Holiday Season, A Merry Christmas, and of course A Happy New Year!!!
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October 23, 2008
Adventures in Orthodontics
Yesterday was my usual orthodontist appointment. I absolutely dread going to see my orthodontisit because I know the next days are going to be torture. The visit alone is pretty awful with the pulling and tugging. My neck and shoulders are always screaming at the end of the appointment. The days that follow always come with a headache that nevr ends and intense pain that starts in my neck - to the shoulders - and eventually into my arms. This ALWAYS is the case. I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth it??? This visit was a special one; not only was there pulling and tugging but they started me on rubberbands. My niece also just started hers as well. She woke up the next day crying, and she is perfectly healthy. I woke up this morning and could barely brush my teeth the pain was so excruciating. I did eventually get them bgrushed and put my rubberbands back in even though everything was telling me not to. I have decided to talk only when absolutely necessary and can barely function at work due to an intense headache.
Now here is the icing on the cake, not only do I make an appointment with the orthodontist - I make one with my doctor as well. We discussed my headaches and he has given me Topamax to see if it helps me any or not. This was perfectly fine with me. The problem came when I got my flu shot. Nothing happened immediately; I simply went on to my orthodontist and proceeded with my usual routine. Today the arm pain is much more severe than it ever has been that I can remember in the six years I have been coping with my fibro. I am definately ready for all of this to run its course and leave me. I can't wait for lunch I get to take these rubber bands off for a little while.
...and I still have about eighteen months left with braces...
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October 15, 2008
Puppies...
The dog that I spent my highschool years with just had her second litter of puppies. Her first litter was a grand total of ten puppies and all of them made it through despite only having eight nursing stations to feed at. We would pull the fat ones away from momma and put the little ones on to eat. This time around we weren't so lucky.
The first one out was Ok, but the second was born dead. After this the next four were fine too, but the last three were all born dead as well. This was a grand total of nine in the litter. My parents removed the little ones that didn't make it, and the ones that did were looking for momma to feed so they thought all was well. My parents went to bed but woke up to three pups nursing and two laying away from Sammi, the mother dog. They looked just barely alive and my parents knew that there were problems.
My mom called the vet and he told her that they weren't getting any milk and were going into shock from malnutrition and dehydration. Mom took off to the vet with puppies and momma. It turns out that Sammi(mother dog) is only producing milk in the last for of her little nursing stations. One puppie died on the way to the vet. The remaining puppies got a dose of vitamins and nutrients along with some syrup to perk them up a bit to have the energy to start feeding. The vet gave my parents some milk replacement powder and sent them on there way reminding them ALL puppies need to eat every two hours.
Once everyone was home and settled the feedings started, but one little one just couldn't hold on any longer and he passed away just within being home for forty minutes. Now we are down to only three out of the nine and two seem to be go-getters at this point and just perk up whenever milk is anywhere near them. There is still one that just seems really weak and we are worried about him. They made it through last night and seem to be doing well but still not getting as much food as the vet would like. These three little ones are just such fighters and I am really pulling for them to make it through this early stage of their life.
These little ones will be on my mind all day - please keep them in your thoughts and prayers as they struggle to make it. Thanks!
-Sarah
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October 14, 2008
It's ONLY Tuesday....?
The dreaded creature (alarm clock) startled me awake at 5:00am, and I truly faught him off as long as I could. I finally roll out of my coccoon of warmth and enter in the arctic zone. I feel so much better when I am toasty warm and dread so much leaving that comfort, but I know what I have to do. I used the restroom, got my jogging gear on, and off I go to the track at the local school (a 2 minute drive). I made a promise to myself that every weekday I would get up and go walking/jogging before I go to work. Then it hit me as I looked down at my watch..............IT'S ONLY TUESDAY!
It seems that every small attempt to improve on life with fibromyalgia is an uphill battle. I had recently had a pretty mild year with my fibro until I moved to TX and oddly gained thirty-five pounds in eight months. Everything worsened from pain to self-esteem. I am determined to make it through this; which is where my routine comes into play. I am upping my activity level and changing my diet in hopes of regaining energy and overall happiness with my health and life.
It may be only Tuesday and I may have pouted the entire time I was on the track this morning, but my fibro isn't going to dictate what I can or cannot do. I choose what I do, and I won this morning in keeping my promise to myself and letting fibro know who runs my life. In the past the only thing that truly helped me was maintaining a consistant activity level and exercise routine. I know how hard it is - I hardly got out of bed or the house for nearly two years. I am starting with just walking/jogging for 30 minutes in the morning, and I would encourage anyone to do this as well and see what happens. We can improve our lives without high dosages of pain medication, anti depressants, and muscle relaxers. WE ARE IN CONTROL!
-Sarah