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My 6th grandchild was born this morning, she weighs 7pd. 7.9oz. and has a head full of hair. I was the second person to hold her and it was as if she recognized my vocie. Happy to report mother and baby are doing well.
I was a healthy kid. I turned my ankles a lot. (I'm paying for that now!) I had trouble with heavy periods and they were very often. Like every 2 weeks. After I had my daughter, she was breach with her knees in her face, I had terrible scar tissue. From there it was yearly DNCs, cervical dysplasia , fibroid tumors, cysts and eventually a hysterectomy at age 26. I’ve been in surgical menopause and on hormone replacement therapy ever since. Mental trauma was more of an issue growing up. Too much to go into here but my Mom bailed on me at age 12 and things got very very bad. I had migraines as an adult that were set off by anxiety with my Mom. Then at the age of 35 I got a little cash windfall and decided my skinny little body should have boobs! After 8 surgeries I finally removed them and was diagnosed with Fibro at age 40. I looked KILLER for 5 years! I couldn’t touch them or sleep other than on my back but boy did I look good! During this same 5 years we discovered a spot on my brain that caused pain and stacked double vision. The tumor did not grow and is still in place. Seldom do I have symptoms any more. We take a look at it every now and then to make sure it’s dormant. Does any of this have anything to do with the Fibro? I don’t know.
I suffer from a myriad of disorders. I've only had two be actually life-threatening. My metabolic disorder and major depression. I too used to cut. The irony is, I did it to feel the pain. I still find myself thinking of cutting, but I haven't actually done it in a long time.
Ever since I was diagnosed with FM a year ago and was put on neurontin and D3, my life has turned around. I've been doing great - gradually better and better with the adjustments in my doses, until I was having more good days then bad and actually able to be active again. I was doing so well, the doctors convinced me I did not need to be on both Lexapro and Effexor XR. They said it really shouldn't be helping me anymore - something about the dosages I was on.
Anyway, I came off the Lexapro 2-3 months ago and did GREAT! for the first month. Then, the OCD started back up... not terrible, but annoying. Then the social anxiety... Now, the major depression, INCLUDING the sucidal thoughts has returned. Yeah, I don't need the Lexapro.
I've also lost my motivation, my drive. I feel like my life is lackig passion and have thought about sabatoging myself to feel SOMETHING again. The pain is in check, but not the fatigue, although it started with insomnia. Thankfully, I go see my therapist on Wednesday and she works with my pysch. Something needs to change.
For me, I've suffered with major depression, OCD, and social anxiety since I was about 12 years old - the depression being the worst of it. So, which came first, the chicken or the egg?