WeAreFibro.org - The Social Support Network for People Living with Fibromyalgia

Misty

How has FM made me a better/stronger person:

Even though I believe FM is the worse illness out there, getting it was a blessing for me in a few ways.

Before I got sick my life was chaos. I went, went, and went some more.

I was a special education teacher in a class with children who had severe behavioral issues and not enough assistance. I drove 37 miles
one way to work every day in the worst traffic ever! I was a mom and
wife...meaning I took care of everything except the trash and a few
days even that. I was my son's racing manager...he wants to be a pro
atv racer...and I was pretty good at it. Many nights I would go to
sleep about 1 or 2 and get back up at 4:30 or 5 and start all over.

I was a perfectionist. Everything in my career had to be just so,
everything at home had to be just so...down to that fact that if
something had been barely moved I would notice and get upset. My son
had to have the best known sponsors so he could get his name out in
the national circuit.

In 2005, my first year teaching I spent the entire first six weeks of
school sick. The day I was scheduled to have my principal in for
evaluation my lymph glands had swollen to the point I couldn't move my
head or hardly talk. I finished my eval. and went to the dr. I had
brochitis & upper respiratory infection. That was the first time in my
life. I got better & resumed my crazy life.

One day in September 2007 I woke and could hardly breathe, hardly move
and just cried. My eyes were bright red and watery, & I had a rash
that spead all over as the day went on. Long story short...I never
recouped and in 2008 was diagnosed with FM. Now I spend most of my
days in bed because the fatigue is so severe. I lie on the sofa and
watch the tv...sometimes with little or no sound, or I chat with my FM
buddies online and research all I can about our disease.

So FM has made me stronger by giving me the strength to tackle my FM
head on. It also has made my connection and faith with God stronger. I
put my life completely in his hands and go where he guids.

My FM has made me a better person because I take time to see and
appreciate all the beauty in the world. I realize that life is too
short for me to focus on perfection when there are things in my life
passing me by...years of my son's childhood, and I take time to love and appreciate my family and friends.

FM saved me from myself and has helped me to understand God's plan for
me...spreading awareness about my disease and helping others learn to
cope.

29 months ago

Jacy

How has fibromyalgia made you
a better or stronger person?

When having an illness like Fibromyalgia
one tends to question how did it make you a better or stronger person?  I felt I was already a strong person and then
someone whose life had been reduced to an existence.  For many years Fibromyalgia had forced me to
become bedridden.  Hospitalizations were
regular occurrences, each and every month for days or weeks at a time.   Once,
I told my Godmother who also had fibro that killing myself would be easier than
living with it.  She quickly retorted her
Roman Catholic upbringing and said, “Do you want hell for all eternity or just in
this lifetime?”  I retorted back, “seriously…what’s
difference as I am already in hell.  I
have to keep reminding myself that while going through hell; walk or run…just
keep going.  Being one who has always
taken the path of most resistance, I walk on and some day’s I run.

Between 1996 and 1999, I
almost died eight times by my former HMO count and eleven times by my own
account. My marriage was affected and more than one professional told me I had
no support system…at all!  Others started
telling me my spouse was abusive as they could see the early stages better than
I. That taken in sickness and health vow…meant nothing to my then husband.

I wanted a life and most
important to be free of abuse.  It was my
responsibility to show my children that no human being should be treated the
way we were.  I had felt beyond hopeless
with my health and realized I had to focus my energy on improving my health and
getting out of a bad relationship.  By
this point, my anxiety was overwhelming and I have often stated I felt socially
MRDD.

I started eating better and
working on losing weight as my weight had gone from about 98 pounds to almost 300
pounds.  I started to attend chronic pain
classes, attended a pain clinic, walking, and began to see a therapists/social
worker.  The more independence and
strength I regained…the better I felt.   For over eleven years of my life spent sick
and in bed; I made up for it in the past four years. 

I had to represent myself and
children in court as I could not afford an attorney; ahhh sweet freedom.  I returned to college after nineteen years. I
went to pattern changing classes, anger/conflict management classes, and
attended writing workshops.  I was
published twice and read my works at public readings. I started to do volunteer
work in my community.  I was invited to,
and spoke to court-mandated perpetrators of domestic violence.  I did this all…on my own…while raising two
teenagers.

If I did not have
Fibromyalgia and been under the threat of death so many times…I may have
forgotten how precious life really is. 
Or, that I am still a valuable and contributing member of society.  Giving up is easy and living is hard for many
folks.  Living with Fibromyalgia and
Chronic Fatigue is most certainly difficult (not impossible) and it is a
challenge.  My kids noticed “it” first…”mom,
do you realize you are not as sick anymore.” 
Frankly, I had been so busy dealing with day to day busy schedules and trying
to balance my health, I had started taking it for granted.  I realized I had to pace myself, set boundaries,
and say no.  I learned to meditate and
exercise.  With my college education, I
learned about supplements and food.  I
learned about biology, psychology, and sociology; the body and mind
connection.  When I had a bad day, my
Psychology professor would tell me, “Just walk through the pain.”

Eventually, I came to the
conclusion that everything I have been through in my life has prepared me for the
next experience…new experiences.  With
Fibromyalgia I have learned to appreciate the good days when the pain is
down.  On the bad days, Fibromyalgia
reminds me to laugh…it lessens the pain. 
I remind myself of all that I have accomplished and to stop beating myself
up for what I can no longer do.  If
something is truly important to me…like change the world in a positive way…I
will make that goal and do it…as I used to tell my kids…baby steps in the right
direction.

Jacy

29 months ago

Jacy

Sorry, my office word pasted this kinda fragmented.

29 months ago

Jacy

How has fibromyalgia made you a better or stronger person?
When having an illness like Fibromyalgia one tends to question how did it make you a better or stronger person? I felt I was already a strong person and then someone whose life had been reduced to an existence. For many years Fibromyalgia had forced me to become bedridden. Hospitalizations were regular occurrences, each and every month for days or weeks at a time. Once, I told my Godmother who also had fibro that killing myself would be easier than living with it. She quickly retorted her Roman Catholic upbringing and said, “Do you want hell for all eternity or just in this lifetime?” I retorted back, “seriously…what’s difference as I am already in hell. I have to keep reminding myself that while going through hell; walk or run…just keep going. Being one who has always taken the path of most resistance, I walk on and some day’s I run.
Between 1996 and 1999, I almost died eight times by my former HMO count and eleven times by my own account. My marriage was affected and more than one professional told me I had no support system…at all! Others started telling me my spouse was abusive as they could see the early stages better than I. That taken in sickness and health vow…meant nothing to my then husband.
I wanted a life and most important to be free of abuse. It was my responsibility to show my children that no human being should be treated the way we were. I had felt beyond hopeless with my health and realized I had to focus my energy on improving my health and getting out of a bad relationship. By this point, my anxiety was overwhelming and I have often stated I felt socially MRDD.
I started eating better and working on losing weight as my weight had gone from about 98 pounds to almost 300 pounds. I started to attend chronic pain classes, attended a pain clinic, walking, and began to see a therapists/social worker. The more independence and strength I regained…the better I felt. For over eleven years of my life spent sick and in bed; I made up for it in the past four years.
I had to represent myself and children in court as I could not afford an attorney; ahhh sweet freedom. I returned to college after nineteen years. I went to pattern changing classes, anger/conflict management classes, and attended writing workshops. I was published twice and read my works at public readings. I started to do volunteer work in my community. I was invited to, and spoke to court-mandated perpetrators of domestic violence. I did this all…on my own…while raising two teenagers.

Fibromyalgia made me a better mother and friend. While bedridden I had an open door policy with my own children and my extended family children (their friends.) I was always open and available to listen or offer advice.

If I did not have Fibromyalgia and been under the threat of death so many times…I may have forgotten how precious life really is. Or, that I am still a valuable and contributing member of society. Giving up is easy and living is hard for many folks. Living with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue is most certainly difficult (not impossible) and it is a challenge. My kids noticed “it” first…”mom, do you realize you are not as sick anymore.” Frankly, I had been so busy dealing with day to day busy schedules and trying to balance my health, I had started taking it for granted. I realized I had to pace myself, set boundaries, and say no. I learned to meditate and exercise. With my college education, I learned about supplements and food. I learned about biology, psychology, and sociology; the body and mind connection. When I had a bad day, my Psychology professor would tell me, “Just walk through the pain.”
Eventually, I came to the conclusion that everything I have been through in my life has prepared me for the next experience…new experiences. With Fibromyalgia I have learned to appreciate the good days when the pain is down. On the bad days, Fibromyalgia reminds me to laugh…it lessens the pain. I remind myself of all that I have accomplished and to stop beating myself up for what I can no longer do. If something is truly important to me…like change the world in a positive way…I will make that goal and do it…as I used to tell my kids…baby steps in the right direction.
Jacy

29 months ago

Benia

Ooh, this is a challenging one!

Since becoming a fibromite, I'm certainly very aware of FM, which is a good thing for me and for the cause of spreading awareness to help gain acceptance and research money. I am also learning lots about it and helping to spread awareness in all my "worlds".

I've become more focused on overcoming weaknesses I have, such as poor memory.  I am organizing things and writing things down more, for my own benefit, which has helped me to be better about getting things done. 

I'm doing sudoku puzzles to help my train my brain to reason better, despite my deficiencies.  I'm also actively pursuing creative projects (like writing) to help keep my mind off my symptoms.  A pleasant side effect is the results of my creativity, and the pride of crafting something, which helps my overall sense of well-being.

I've taken up journaling as a much more affordable and enjoyable alternative to seeing a psychiatrist for my depression.  I'm enjoying it so much, I've taken to buying journals for my mom, my massage therapist, my sister, my neice, and my nephew!  I just want everyone to enjoy the freedom to write anything at any time and the power to use journal entries to gather information and for entertainment, too.

I have connected to many other fibromites and even "normals" out there via support groups, blogging and commenting on blogs, Facebook, etc., with a greater sense of empathy and interest.  I help them; they help me.  It's very rewarding and works as a positive distraction for me.  Learning to blog has also been a positive benefit that indirectly arose from my having FM.

Having Fibromyalgia keeps me on my toes against those hoaxters out there trying to make a quick buck off the desperate.  Being skeptical is not a bad thing - it can be very helpful.  The more I learn about FM, the more easily I can recognize those phonies out there.  I'm also happy to share what I know with others.

This is an odd one, but here goes.  Shortly after I was diagnosed with FM, my neice (who was 17 at the time) was also diagnosed.  Although FM isn't fun, I feel it has brought us closer, since I have taken the role of guiding her toward useful information and experiences, and hope to inspire her to muster up her best against the fibrobeast.  I signed her up for a Fibromyalgia Network membership, which means she gets their quarterly Journal of helpful articles in the mail.

I really didn't think I would be able to come up with so many, but wow!  Thanks for inspiring me to write this.

(Originally posted at: http://www.wearefibro.org/creativetherapy/discussions/909 )

29 months ago

Theresa

My FMS makes me stronger. Because I know longer listen to those whom have no, idea what I am living with. It is not in mine head or just maken it up so I don't have to work. When I can't get out of bed and don't want to my poor dog for a walk and I know she has to go to bathroom. That is when it is hardness for me.

When I don't want people to see me this way. When people don't understand when I hurt and in lots of pain the meds aren't working anymore and I can't keep my thoughts straight and all I want to say can't get out for how long I try to get them out the right way at the doctors and they want to run more dumb test and put on meds that don't want to work for me.

When my growed son's don't understand what I am going though. They want to run away from me and one say's you don't understand what I want from you and I want things my way. Was very hurt at my youngest son wedding when his wife didn't want to take our last name and he now hunts and fishes to make bonnie points with her father and she makes none with us. Knowing that she stuffes from IBS and she might have on set FMS and he dosen't want to hear that from me at all. It upsets me that he dosn't want to talk to me and now it is at me. He has no idea what kind of pain I am and dosen't care either.
My FMS and I learning set me free of my worries and cares and hate driving a car in the winter and in the snow and in the dark.

28 months ago

Chris

Having FM has made me stronger in several areas. First of all, it's made me a stronger patient. I know longer just take what my doctor says and walk out the door. I am actively involved in my treatment. If I have questions, concerns or comments I let him know. Luckily my doctor is respectful of this behavior!

I also have become stronger by being able to say no. I used to be a do it all and anything you asked me to do person. I've learned that I can't do it all any more and I can't do everything that people ask me to do. I've learned to politely decline requests. If they ask why I'm no longer embarassed to tell them why. I don't give a whole speech but I tell them I have FM and answer their quesetions if they have any.

When I was still able to work as a nurse it made me so much more of an advocate for my patients. I'd walked their side of the fence and could understand better what they were going through. It gave me the gumption to stand up to another doctor or nurse to fight for a patient's needs or rights (I miss that so much).

I've become closer to my family as they've helped me when I needed it. I have become an advocate for them whenever they need one. I love being a site leader for WAF because I can still help people when they need it. Just being there for someone feels wonderful.

 

28 months ago

Loren

Before I got sick I was a horrible bipolar person. I was mean to everyone flipping out cursing punching things lying all the time. I didnt care about anything or anyone. Then I got sick. I started reading the bible. I found the book of job   And It gave me a understanding that life will throw u curve balls and even damn you but god will never leave u. I started thinking that the better person I am the more God will reward me. I am also wiccan and I realsized everything I have done has come back to me 3 fold. SO If I work on being the best person I can be becoming as close as i can to saint hood Life will get better for me. I stopped all lying  i believe in the 10 commandments and the mortal sins. I try to do everything right. Be kind to everyone no matter what they do cause if theyre bad to me god will deal with them. I forgave everyone in my life whos harmed me. Me and mom used to hate each other and would fight over everything. Then I got really sick I couldnt walk brain funtion was minimal. I was looking into going on disablity and i was on the internet one day. when i found this site beliefnet.com  And I found the group who told me how herbs can save my life. after 3 days off taken them I was walking again. I started to pray everyday I found a great pain mangement doctor. I finally got put on the right bipolar meds and I have discovered how to love other without selfish needs of my own. I have an amazing relationship with my family now and though no one understands me in my life besides my mom Ive gotten a few great friends who love me. Ive been basically pain free for 2 weeks now I truly believe its because Ive become a better person and I never damned god. Just like JOB.

26 months ago